Women’s sexual pleasure has hidden in the shadows for too long. It’s time to get it all out in the open.
There’s so much that’s been left unsaid, unasked, and unknown. All because of a taboo that, we believe, will look absurd in a few decades—the same way taboos from the 1950’s about oral sex and homosexuality are absurd to us now. We want to accelerate that transition.
OMGYES is an entirely new way to explore fascinating, useful and fun information that’s been uncovered in new research. Let’s lift the veil and take an honest look at the specific ways women actually find pleasure.

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  1. shinichi Post author


    Why women’s pleasure is still so mysterious:

    1. Complexity gets confused for ‘unknowability’

    The anatomy is so sensitive and varies so much. A few millimeters or a slight difference in angle, pressure or rhythm can make the difference between discomfort and pleasure. And what feels best changes so much over time: over the course of arousal from warm-up through buildup and orgasm, day to day and life-stage to life stage.

    This complexity has gotten confused for ‘unknowability.’ Even doctors and experts throw up their hands and say ‘everyone’s different, you have to figure out what works for you or your partner’ as if that’s the end of the discussion. Since when has variability stopped human curiosity and research?

    2. It just hadn’t been researched before

    Instead of reliable, agreed-upon facts, the specific techniques and the ways women vary have been left to pop-culture to make up – lists of tips, opinions, rumors, sayings.

    Sex research has been about general behaviors, like percentages of people who masturbate or use vibrators. Or the biology of what happens inside the body during sex and orgasm. But the actual techniques for women’s pleasure just hadn’t been researched before. Why? The large institutions that conduct research usually have at least a few very conservative supporters. And, for them, the specifics for women’s pleasure are still too taboo and uncomfortable to look at directly and specifically.

    When there’s no shared basis of understanding and lack of open conversation, myths and misinformation flourish and go unchecked.

    3. The Hollywood myth

    Depictions in media would have us believe that after a bit of missionary position or sex up against a wall, she’ll have a mind-blowing orgasm, every time, in under a minute. That’s the script even in tame romantic comedies. The great Hollywood lover telepathically ‘already just knows the moves.’ He doesn’t ask for any feedback and she doesn’t offer any.

    4. There’s no specific, reliable source of information.

    The internet has benefited almost every other part of our lives. We can easily look up reliable information about almost anything – but it’s hard to find accurate information about the details of women’s pleasure.

    Anything else we do in life, there are established truths that are agreed – and our personal knowledge builds on what every previous generation has discovered.

    It’s not just the religious or super-conservative that consider these specifics ‘obscene and indecent content’ – it’s the media companies, search engines and app-stores, too. We live in an era when graphic violence is acceptable but even the word, ‘clitoris,’ gets bleeped out on TV.

    5. There aren’t shared words yet for the details.

    One of the casualties of the taboo around women’s pleasure is that there aren’t words for the important ways touch can vary. There aren’t specific words for the kinds of detailed techniques that matter so much. There are vague, clinical words like stimulate and vague, pop-culture words like fingering and rubbing.

    This lack of language makes it far harder to explore and find new things that work. Imagine trying a new recipe, but none of the ingredients or measurements have names. Or ordering from a menu but all of the dishes are called the same thing.

    Is talking about these details that important? It turns out yes, it is. Women who are able to talk specifically about what makes sex more pleasurable for them are 8x more likely to be happier in their relationships!

    Staying Curious

    Couples who constantly explore new ways to increase pleasure are 5 times more likely to be happier in their relationships and 12 times more likely to be sexually satisfied.

    OMGYES gathers research-based truths and gives them words.

    OMGYES is a collection of the “a-ha” moments – realizations and techniques women and their partners have discovered, that they wish they could go back in time and show themselves.

    Novelist Willa Cather once said, “There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before.”

    What was surprising was that the research revealed the vast majority of women share very similar insights about pleasure and how to make it better.

    No matter their age, women shared very similar realizations, techniques, frustrations, and lessons they wish they could go back in time and tell themselves and their partners. Insights about everything from specific ways of squeezing the clit in between surrounding skin to ways to stop overthinking in bed. From tricks to say what you like without hurting feelings to the ways certain rhythms of movement change the sensations building up to orgasm and result in different kinds of orgasms.

    We’ve gathered the most prevalent techniques and the ones that make the biggest difference. And we’ve given them words that come from the women themselves. Language that pinpoints the little details that women have discovered are so important.

    Only if it’s real, personal and explicit will it really bust myths and improve our lives.

    Reading about these techniques and insights is very different from seeing the real thing, trying them and arriving at your own conclusions. When you realize something from experience or from a friend’s, it stays with you. It changes you. It makes it real, not theoretical.

    When you can look someone in the eye and relate to them – and they share their true experience, we take in that information very differently. So that’s how we tried to make OMGYES – turning research-based insights into something personal – so these insights would really stick.

    The most effective way to bust the myths around women’s pleasure is to really see the actual diversity and variability. Not the concept of it or a description of it – the reality of it. With actual, relatable women who love almost opposite techniques. And real anatomy, not just abstracted line-drawings with arrows.

    After seeing the content on OMGYES, people consistently say, “what’s fascinating is HOW DIFFERENT THE TECHNIQUES ARE!” or “I kind of thought that what feels best changes over time, but wow.”

    In this way, everyone can realize, through real experience, what we’re trying to get across – that it’s impossible to ‘already just know the moves’ with a new partner or with the same partner on a different day. That the best way to approach a lover is with an open mind, listening and asking for feedback. That giving and getting feedback doesn’t have to be awkward but can be really sexy and fun. That sexual pleasure can get better and better with exploration. That things that may feel ‘abnormal’ actually aren’t. That there are always so many new things to try – and staying curious makes for far better sex and happier relationships.

    The Research

    Scientists and researchers have uncovered the inner workings of almost everything in the world. But the only funded large-scale sex research has either been biological (the physiology of what happens in the body during sex) or behavioral (general activities without the details, like the percentage of women who have orgasms or use vibrators). So what about the actual techniques and insights that women across the country discover that lead to more pleasure? That’s still an uncharted frontier, when it comes to science and research.

    So we conducted the first-ever large-scale studies to get the details. And we’ll continue to do more and more research about sexual pleasure. The first batch of insights makes up the basis of Season One of OMGYES – breaking down the main ways women vary in how they find pleasure, and insights for women, men and couples about how to make it even better.

    How we did the research

    We first did over 1,000 in-depth interviews with women across the country. Then, in partnership with researchers at Indiana University and The Kinsey Institute, we surveyed another nationally representative group of 1,000 women.

    Nationally representative means a slice of the country, across geographies, ages and subcultures – getting an accurate snapshot of what regular people actually do and think, without bias from the selection process.

    Research Methodology Detail (for research-lovers)

    The first 1,000 interviews were conducted by OMGYES staff over video-chat with women of all ages, around the country. They shared:

    ・ Sexual histories
    ・ How they discovered what works for them
    ・ What the a-ha moments were in their sexual journeys
    ・ The specific techniques they’ve found, both alone and with partners, that lead to more pleasure and better orgasms
    ・ Detailed ways they communicate those techniques to partners
    ・ What psychological or relationship insights they’ve had that have led to more pleasure
    ・ What they wish they could go back in time and tell their younger selves about pleasure
    ・ What they wish all partners knew about women’s pleasure

    Then, we conducted the first-ever large-scale, nationally representative study on women’s pleasure. Asking the same kinds of questions from a nationally representative cross-section of the country.

    The 2015 OMGYES Study of Women’s Sexual Pleasure was conducted during June 2015 by researchers Debby Herbenick, PhD, assistant Professor at Indiana University School of Public Health and researcher at The Kinsey Institute and Brian Dodge, PhD of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion of the Indiana University School of Public Health. The survey was conducted online in collaboration with GfK’s Knowledgepanel, a probability-based web panel designed to be representative of the United States, and was completed by 1,055 adult women.The data was then weighted according to recent (March 2014) data from the Current Population Survey (CPS), taking into account demographics such as gender, race/Hispanic ethnicity, region of the country, education, household income, and (based on 2013 CPS data) internet access.

    Complete and current information about KnowledgePanel sampling and recruitment methodology and design is available at

    About the researchers:
    Dr Debby Herbenick –
    Dr Brian Dodge –

    What’s Next

    This is such a fascinating frontier when it comes to research. We’ve just shown the tip of the iceberg. This is just the beginning. Future seasons of OMGYES will explore other topics, in depth.

    OMGYES doesn’t and can’t cover everything.

    As we all know, the relationship between two lovers is crucial to sexual enjoyment. Physical touch and physical sensation are only part of it. But talking about relationships, in detail, isn’t taboo, and there are already lots of resources available out there to make them better.

    Our goal is to shed light on the important parts that are taboo and don’t get talked about. The parts that get left out of books about love and even about sex.

    So we decided, with Season One, to focus on genital touch, as this is an area that has historically been ignored. For now our emphasis is on external and clitoral touch. Our next seasons will explore other topics that concern pleasure, and research is already under way.

    Variety of perspectives: this is just the beginning

    We will continue talking to women from a variety of perspectives and experience — we realize that some perspectives are not included in this first season. We have so much to learn from each other, and a rich diversity of experience only adds to what we can learn and explore.


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