My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.
Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.
Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.
I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.
A whole stack of memories never equal one little hope.
Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.
Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.
Try not to have a good time… this is supposed to be educational.
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There’s so little hope for advancement.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’
If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.
That’s the secret to life… replace one worry with another.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
No problem is too big to run away from.
There’s a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.
Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.
I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.
No problem is so formidable that you can’t walk away from it.
It doesn’t matter what you believe just so long as you’re sincere.
You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.
The way I see it, it doesn’t matter what you believe just so you’re sincere.
There is no problem so big it cannot be run away from.
Aunt Marion was right… Never marry a musician, and never answer the door.
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