23 signs you’ve lived in New York City too long

1. When you leave the city and a cashier smiles at you and asks how your day was, you’re like: “Excuse me?“
2. Dinner = hitting up your slice place at 1 a.m.
3. Nothing fills you with more rage than getting on a crowded subway car and suddenly hearing, “It’s showtime!”
4. You have the same conversation with the same friends at the same bar every night.
5. $12 cocktails and $20 yoga classes seem normal now.
6. In the summer, you consider the wind from an approaching subway car to be “a nice breeze.”
7. You’ve considered moving into your office to save on rent since you spend so much time there anyway.
8. You’ve gone from not leaving Brooklyn on the weekends, to not leaving your actual neighborhood on the weekends.
9. Savings account? HAHA, good one.
10. You’ve Seamlessed lunch and dinner in the same day and not given a shit.
11. This is sadly accurate: Your life’s like Gossip Girl, except everyone is old and poor.
12. You’ve flipped off a tourist bus.
13. You wear earbuds while grocery shopping.
14. You’ve become immune to the hot garbage smell.
15. You can swipe your Metrocard without breaking stride.
16. You go to the bodega in your pajamas.
17. When you visit the suburbs and try to sleep at night, the silence scares you.
18. You’ve forgotten how to drive a car.
19. You’ve stopped going out on Friday nights and started going out on Tuesday nights. – As long as I’m drunk, what’s the difference?
20. You walk faster than most people run.
21. You’ve either gotten really into cooking, or totally given up on cooking.
22. You get outraged when a Duane Reade isn’t open 24 hours.
23. You relish getting out of the city any chance you get… But when you return to New York, you realize you couldn’t possibly live anywhere else.